For many adoptive, foster, and kinship parents, there are gaps in their child’s history that may never be filled. One of the biggest unknowns is whether a child was exposed to alcohol before birth—and whether they may have Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).

FASD can affect brain development, learning, behavior, and emotional regulation. It is often invisible and, without confirmed prenatal history, can be hard to diagnose. Parents may find themselves in “diagnostic limbo,” wondering:

• Is this trauma?
• ADHD?
• FASD?
• Or a combination of several factors?

This uncertainty impacts daily life. Parenting may require extra structure, shorter instructions, and repeated teaching. Advocating for school supports can be more complex when there’s no formal diagnosis. And emotionally, parents may feel grief, frustration, and worry about the future.

Even without certainty, awareness matters. Understanding that some behaviors may be rooted in brain differences—not willful disobedience—shifts our response from punishment to support.

For educators, clinicians, and caregivers, recognizing that many families live with this “maybe” is critical. When we approach each child with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to adapt, we create the conditions for learning, growth, and connection—no matter what’s in their file.