Filling Your Cup First

Parenting in foster and adoptive roles is both rewarding and challenging, often requiring parents to navigate big emotions and behaviors stemming from childhood trauma. Burnout is real, but prioritizing self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Building a support system, celebrating small wins, and finding time for joy and relaxation are critical to maintaining your well-being. By nurturing yourself, you’ll be better equipped to nurture your children and create a thriving family dynamic.

Decoding ‘I Hate You’

When your teen says, “I hate you,” it stings—especially if you’re parenting an adopted or foster child. But these words often reflect their internal struggles, not their feelings toward you. Teens grappling with trauma or identity questions may express anger toward the safest person in their life: you. By staying calm, reframing their outbursts as cries for help, and offering consistent support, you can guide them through these tough emotions. Remember, their words aren’t about rejection—they’re about navigating big feelings. Your love and patience are more important than ever.

Connection

A Goal, A Gift, and Maybe a Bit Messy

January 2025 Legislative Spotlight

State Senator Laura Fine – 9th District
As the Senator in the 9th District, I serve as the Chair of the Senate Behavioral and Mental Health committee and Vice-Chair of the Insurance committee. Supporting residents with mental health and health care needs has been my longstanding priority, and my work reflects a focus on facilitating access to quality care, ensuring the state’s insurance marketplace reflects the needs of Illinoisans, reducing barriers for mental health services and addressing workforce shortages.

The Essential Truth About Adoption Grief

The Essential Truth About Adoption Grief: What Parents Need to Know to Support Their Kids
Adoption is often seen as a beautiful story of new beginnings, but the journey actually begins with loss. For many children, adoption or foster care means saying goodbye to their birth family, their sense of home, and sometimes even their identity. While these losses are not immediately visible, they remain deeply felt, shaping how children see themselves and the world around them.

Bold Vision for 2025

Building Stronger Foundations for Children: iCARE4’s Bold Vision for 2025
As we kick off 2025, we’re focusing on making systemic change for children in foster, adoptive, and kinship families. These kids often face unique challenges in school—challenges that go beyond the typical struggles many students face. Trauma, instability, and disrupted attachments impact their academic performance and social-emotional development. At iCARE4, we know that love and care are crucial, but these children need more specialized support to truly thrive.

Guiding Teens to a Stronger Sense of Self

Adoptive teens face unique challenges when it comes to identity, and those struggles can sometimes be misdiagnosed as social anxiety. While both issues involve self-consciousness, fear of judgment, and social withdrawal, it’s crucial to understand how identity confusion can often look like social anxiety—leading to incorrect diagnoses and missed opportunities for healing in adopted and foster children. iCARE4 Adoptive And Foster Families supports holistic and comprehensive assessments for accurate diagnosis and effective support.

Holiday Truth – 2024

Let me tell you a Truth: holiday magic is messy. We are made to believe we are only doing holiday magic right if it is all family, feasts, glitter, presents, and joy. 

Legislative Update – December 2024

Your Voice Matters: Shaping a Better Illinois for Families

As the Illinois General Assembly prepares to transition from the 103rd to the 104th session in January, now is the perfect time to reflect on how we can improve our state for adoptive, foster, and kinship families. While the holiday season may seem like a busy time to engage in advocacy, your voice has never been more crucial.

Every family’s story highlights unique challenges that policies can address. Whether it’s revisiting a bill that didn’t pass, introducing an idea from another state, or tackling an overlooked issue, your perspective can shape meaningful change. Legislators are here to serve their communities, and they rely on your input to guide their work.

Advocacy doesn’t have to be intimidating—reach out through a call, email, or letter and share your experiences. Personal stories bring policies to life in ways data cannot, and they can ignite important conversations. Even if you don’t get an immediate response, persistence pays off.

As we look to the next legislative session, let’s collaborate to make Illinois a place where every family has the resources they need to thrive. Your voice matters—let’s use it to make a difference.

We Hear You, Schools

We get it—schools want to provide the best for their staff and students, but the idea of “free” training often comes with hidden costs, like staff time away from the classroom. We know that asking teachers and school staff to juggle their busy schedules for training can feel like a heavy lift.
But here’s the good news: We’ve got some practical solutions to help you implement the free trauma-informed NTI adoption-competency mental health training without straining your resources.